#I live this show for being so MATURE
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A frustrated Heart throwing down that notebook, to drag his mom in sign language, is doing more for me than the antidepressants
#moonlight chicken#not my gif#heartliming#fourthgemini#this whole scene#felt so good#I live this show for being so MATURE#and yet...#i somehow went feral for these cotton candy teenagers#what the actual fork!
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Jamil confession with prompt 10!
Context: Relationship started off antagonistic since the reader encouraged Kalim's independance (teaching him chores, cooking, etc) and eventually grew to a one sided rivalry (Jamil was the only one into it, reader was just having fun with his reactions). Reader spends months pining while Jamil is just in denial. At the end of conversation, Reader slips up while saying they don't need a response and Jamil goes through the five stages of grief in a span of 2 minutes.
Appearance: long straight brown hair and dark skin.
Personality: jolly like Kalim but in a much calmer manner, huge nerd for art (literature, music, movies, etc), rarely loses composure, when flustered they go red with a very wide goofy smile on their face (no shyness)
💌Jamil Viper + Prompt #10 (Talking with them for hours about anything and everything, not even feeling the time pass.) ++(edit: i put female!reader here by accident, it's gn!reader actually)
There was no bigger illustration of irony than the situation the both of you were in right now. From the winter break incident to…
“—these little gestures that the actors look for in the choreography, so they know when to start signing. Like there, when that guy lets go of the bed frame—”
…spending three hours watching musical bootlegs.
If there was anything that remained consistent, it was that you were irritating. The way you unabashedly inserted yourself into his and Kalim’s schedule. You seamlessly guided him away from most distractions, yet at the same time, sent Jamil’s blood pressure to new highs by leaving—trusting? Ha. As if anyone sensible would put—Kalim in front of any kind of electrical outlet or open flame. Who cared if you were occasionally successful?
Never mind that Jamil was actually intrigued by the musical. In spite of its grainy footage, your little quips were accompanied with a little smile and excited glint in your irises.
(That you’re still willing to meet his eyes is another constant, but that rouses a different kind of unease.)
“Jamil, about the Potionology homework—”
“Yeah?”
Kalim glances at the shared laptop screen between you and Jamil. “...Oh, uh, never mind. I’ll figure it out! Sorry for disturbing you two!” And he traipses out of Scarabia’s common area.
“...I should also go over my work with Kalim,” Jamil says, wrenching himself away from this idle moment.
Your hand touches his wrist, withdraws when he jolts. “I think he’ll ask for help if he needs it.”
“It doesn’t hurt to be sure.”
“Maybe we could wait until the end of the first act? There’s one more ensemble number you’ve gotta see—or, oh.” A sheepish smile spreads across your features.
“What?” A frown pulls at his lips when you shut the laptop.
Your cheeks flush red in embarrassment. “Um, I realized that this was probably…not the kinda musical to attempt a confession to.” A laugh, sweet and genuine, escapes you.
Confession? You liked him? It would explain your sudden closeness in spite of everything, but why? And for how long? Why him?
“I should return this to Ignihyde, but—this was a failure, so you don’t have to reject me yet, alright?”
Jamil can only nod mutely and watch you leave, that dopey smile splitting your cheeks imprinted on his mind.
Sevens, help him. He’s caught in between two whirlwinds.
a/n: oh man, i'm so sorry this took so long. i tried to incorporate as much of the request into the word limit i set for myself but in the end, i took some liberties with it 🙇♂️ i still hope this was an enjoyable fluffy read tho! 💕💕 happy holidays (? ouh man where did the time go)
#dellet-writings#dellet-asks#lex752#gn!reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#if anyone's curious the musical being referenced here is deaf west's production of spring awakening#(maturity warning for that musical. its subject matter is really intense#but listening to the soundtrack recording itself should be ok. if you're fine with double entendres and subtext of the themes)#(reader's specifically referring to the track 'i believe'#which is a beautiful song. gorjus harmonies. but also has dialogue and action. of the 🌶variety...#but its also rlly important as the ender of act 1 so nsdlfsdf as capable as reader is. they jus dont have jamil's foresight#tbh they were just excited to show him 'the bitch of living' and 'touch me.' <-highly recc videos of those performances. augh. ne ways)#edit: wait i realize i mistyped the cw for this auvsuevsjsbsj thats on me again for flipflopping between my wips aaaagh
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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I've seen many people shit on the live action atla ((as we should this is such a bad adaptation and honestly a mid show in itself)) but I haven't really seen people talk stuff about Sokka and Suki
And I want to point out a couple of things that I absolutely hated about what they did to them in live action.
1. The kiss
I hate that they made them kiss at the end of the episode. I hate it so much. Like yes, in the original they both clearly had feelings for each other (especially that later Suki talks about losing sb very important to her, who we know was Sokka), but they weren't rushed like that.
In the original they both grow so much between their meetings. Sokka finally gets together with a girl (not the first girl he meets that's his age, like Suki), kisses sb for the first time, travels the world, meets new people and in general matures.
We don't know much about what Suki is doing during that time, but we know she finally does sth that helps people during war, sth that she said was important to her. She can finally put her skills in leadership to greater use and she feels great about it. She also matures during that time and we know that she still thinks about Sokka and misses him.
Them kissing immediately makes their relationship so much more bland and just... flat.
2. If they make all three seasons, we will probably not get the most iconic line of the show...
Because now Sokka's first girlfriend is technically Suki...
3. The whole scene with Suki teaching Sokka
I cannot empathise enough how important Sokka's sexism is in their relationship. It's something that Suki fixes in him, something she manages to show him... by absolutely kicking his ass. In live action... the fight scene next to those melons was a joke not a fight scene if I can be honest. Idk if it's the writing or the choreography or the actors but it looks so fake and just so bad 💀 And she attacked him while he was still "stretching"??? Suki would never.
What is this 💀💀
But the most important scene, and the one I hate the most in live action, is the one where Suki teaches him a very sacred and traditional and important to Suki and to her culture way of fighting.
In the original, Suki highlights that no man should learn their art and only after Sokka begs Suki to teach him does she agree.
But not without a very important piece that was fully missing from live action which baffles me so much.
The entire armor, the dress and make up.
Not only is it incredibly important to upholding the traditions and keeping the cultural aspect important, but the beautiful, might I add, outfit gives us the depth of Kyoshi Warriors that is just missing from the live action.
"The silk thread symbolizes the brave blood that flows through our veins. The gold insignia represents the honor of the warrior's heart."
It's beautiful. It's meaningful for both of them. It's important. And it's also a way for Suki to mess with Sokka which we love and stan.
I ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SUKI TOOK OFF HER MAKE UP FOR THE ALMOST KISS AND THE KISS. It's not like being a Kyoshi Warrior is sth that's bothering her. NO. She's incredibly proud of it!! So. why. take. an. important. part. of. it. away. for. some. stupid. kiss.
WHY NOT GO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION?? Instead of her taking off her make up for the romantic scene why not just... put make up on Sokka... honestly what's more romantic than putting make up on your crush.
They could have made such a beautiful and intimate scene between these two.
Them sitting in front of each other. Suki putting on Sokka's make up, while either talking about herself or about how important this whole set up is for her and her culture. I wouldn't mind it then because it would give their relationship some depth instead of "omg he's so pretty" "omg she's so pretty." *kiss*
But no. Instead they kissed right next to a group of people (including Suki's mother which just makes is so much more weird) after Suki said sth about Sokka showing her a bit of the world.
And I hate it so much.
It takes away the part where Suki teaches Sokka something very important, something that changes his personality, helps with his arc to Sokka "showing her a bit of the world". How?? With what?? It's not like he took her away from the Island itself or introduced her to his culture. No. He just... showed up and kissed her.
Great writing.
And don't get me starter on the "I'm not just a warrior. I'm a Kyoshi Warrior" line. It's a good line. It really is. But it would be better if the producers actually focused on Suki being a Kyoshi Warrior and not just a girl that has a crush on Sokka.
And while it's compared to "I'm a warrior. But I'm a girl too"... gods I... ughhhhhhh
So yeah. I hated it. I hated the show. All I have to say is:
They ruined my favourite couple. They ruined many great characters. They completely missed the point of the original story.
#and man it hurts me so much how they “matured” Aang#he has like three goofy lines but besides that he's a fucking philosopher#why#why would they do that#i could talk about why this show is so bad for hours really#i don't mind there being changes but not like that#oh! and btw this isn't hate on the actors#i actually think they would be perfect sokka and suki if the writing was good#looking at the screen of their kiss makes me so happy honestly!!#but then i remember the context and i want to bang my head on the wall#so yeah this is a hate post on the writers and netflix#live action avatar the last airbender#atla#avatar the last airbender#avatar the last airbender live action#avatar#avatar live action#sokka#suki#sukka#sokka x suki
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we gotta start giving luffy more credit for his emotional intelligence and empathy because i don't think y'all are aware of how fucking smart this lil dude really is
#not gonna mention a specific moment because then i would have to talk for hours about the whole damn show#when he waits for nami to ask him for help bc he knows she needs to let herself do it#when he doesn't stop zoro from fighting mihawk bc he knows he can't get in the way of his dream#when he instantly knows sanji is lying to himself and them at wci and wants to go home#when he has to make the hardest decision of his life as a pirate in water 7 with usopp#when he knows robin wants to live and refuses to let her die and have that mentality#when he gave vivi that reality check back in arabasta#and etcetcetc etc etc etc etcetc#my guy is so empathetic and emotionally intelligent#and he's mature and knows what he's doing even if he's impulsive#making strategic strict plans ≠ being mature#acting impulsively ≠ childish#acting emotionally but with a solid reason behind = luffy!!!!#i love him so so much#one piece#monkey d luffy
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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Sometimes it annoys me that Show!Lucy is so...afraid, compared to Book!Lucy.
She runs from that Cold Maiden, where Book!Lucy would have stood and fought. She panics and simply thumps at the trap door in the Bickerstaff Mansion, where Book!Lucy would have used the flares at her workbelt and her rapier to buy herself some time. She shuts the iron doors at the mill, where Book!Lucy drew her rapier and ran towards the screams.
But then again...
Show!Lucy is 16, and has only been an agent for 3 years. Book!Lucy might be only 13 or 14 at the start, but she'd been an agent for at least 5 years when the incident at the Mill happened. Book!Lucy had pride in her identity as an agent - instilled in her back when Jacobs was sober and a good supervisor - and a good 6-7 years of experience before the Bone Glass case, whereas Show!Lucy is still scraping by on her 3 years of experience, and hasn't had a real opportunity to find pride in being an agent yet.
They're different characters. And honestly, I like it -- the characters were aged up for the show, but it wasn't just their ages but the world around them and all the background and growth that goes with that. Book!Lucy would have been a very different girl if she had become an agent at 13 instead of 8, I'm sure, and it's nice that we get to see that What-If played out on screen.
#lockwood and co#lucy carlyle#just rewatching the bickerstaff episode got me thinking#how small changes to our lives can create big changes to our persons#i like how none of the main trio are as prickly as they are at the beginning of the books#because they're all a little bit more emotionally mature because age#but they're also not as good at being agents as they are in the books#because they've all got much less experience#in the books all three are pretty damn good at being agents but not so great at being people at the start#and in the show it's the other way round#and it's believable and fascinating and a lot of fun!
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why am i so easy to not give a fuck about
#why do my feelings matter less than her friendship with her cheating manipulative disrespectful shitty ex#i wish i had the guts to kill myself#whatever comes after life has to be better than this pain of living#like why is this what destiny had in store for me? to go through so much heartbreaking emotional turmoil#to wish i had never fallen in love in the first place? why was that the plan for me?#why couldn't i fall in love with someone who was emotionally mature and was capable of showing me empathy when i bring them my emotions and#hurt feelings#why do i not deserve that?#i fucking hate being alive
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Endless Johnny Cage edits // 6
Special move : Shadow uppercut
#☆.⠀⠀⠀it's exhausting being so perfect⠀⠀⠀⎯⎯⎯⠀⠀⠀⠀(⠀visage !⠀)#// more of these hehehehe#// he can do it with the green powers in x but I want to show the shadow copies because they're only in that game#// but we live in delulu and I say he can summon them in 11 and the new timeline with practice#// augh but look at the way this matures#// GOOD SOUP
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thinking about how of course billions is about people trapped in eternal battle world, and trapped because they won't ever exit, and don't want to because that's the only way they can define their idea of themself or like move through life, to the degree they have to just create or find another battle if one ends or they don't have enough going on at once or they're unhappy about anything & can only respond to that the only way they'll respond to anything: finding someone to consider a target to Defeat & being like nice, i'm so competent & active as a person, so with any other issues in my life, i'm sure it's not my fault at least
and it's been clear that to be someone at the Center of the show means needing to be inflexible enough to never leave that life, which also probably means never engaging in genuine self-reflection besides like, fuming in distress for 5 sec & then immediately searching for blame for someone else, or calling up your designated moral supporter who'll tell you you're upset b/c you're very complex & sympathetic & maybe if you do [xyz] you'll be able to Keep Winning, so like, don't worry, we'll never get too off track here. you have someone like connerty who cares so much about playing by the rules ft. ethics, but he was also someone completely inflexible who would give a shit like "ha ha you broke the law" and be Defeated b/c like yeah damn you do got him in that situation. he may then have gained the flexibility to throw a punch when he's already imprisoned but he's still just gotta retire & pursue some completely different goals
this in contrast with like, what a coincidence (surely not) that the more flexible characters are the ones who also do introspect & reflect & genuinely think about & question themselves ever, & how even beyond that, being in this world of people who overwhelmingly are thee opposite & aiming for a static sense of self & thus strategy for navigating life & all interactions & situations, the more reflective parties also tend to accept both Blame & the fruitlessness of pushing for more/different/better from the people & relationships & situations they're amongst. those willing to take on responsibility at all surrounded by people casting all of it off, always, w/the former already primed to take blame & the latter primed to be looking to find the blame in anyone else, a powerful mismatch....which allows the flexible parties to also put up with shit for longer lol like if they got fed up that quickly or recognized the dead-end here they'd just leave the show lol. like wow can't believe taylor spent their whole life already stuck having to deal with someone who's so very much like these bullshit central men & those trying to emulate them, & perhaps also then have a lifetime of experience extending endless patience & sympathy with little to no expectations for more from people who put up with such a bullshit man & his effects on everything around him, like, what do you mean taylor's mom hasn't seen them b/c douglas didn't want to see them b/c he wasn't yet motivated enough to have to exercise begrudging shows of basic respect. whilest sure seems like taylor felt more concern & basically stated their responsibility re: trying to make their relationship with their dad work / basically take on the task of making his life work for him according to his sense of himself (genius! who deserves the recognition thusly!) and doesn't seem to take on this role re: their mom, who nevertheless is just presumed to move closer to them along w/douglas. and here's taylor never truly putting their foot down re: wendy, no matter what, able to have no real positive expectations in how wendy treats them or thinks of them, but also always able to extend sympathy / decent treatment themself
thinking of like team ben out here as the Nicer axe cap or mpc people who also happen to be people absorbing the L's, blaming themselves for being at the bottom of the hierarchy & being subjected to the always negative treatment doled out to them accordingly, and, winstonesquely, still generally like extending genuine gestures of amicability, efforts of constructive actual communication, etc, & this being shut down & likely punished by all the people around them who won't handle that kind of thing. that Of Course nobody's actually supported around here, like, at best they'll get some kind of "well you're actually talented & valuable :)...." (so why aren't they already treated in a way such that they're aware of this?) "....so just have more confidence already god!" wherein (a) again that just means it's Their Fault that they're having a miserable time at the hands of others & (b) their having "confidence" doesn't really mean like, an emotional buffer between their sense of self-esteem & the message of inferiority in how they're treated, it has to mean externally acting different in some ways, more like A Winner, more like everyone else. the limits of ben trying to sometimes be a buffer for tuk as that kind of friend/mentor role, where either it simply fails or ben's Help is more unilateral "correction." that generally only any increase in aggressive hostility gets them anywhere, and really not that far.
the way dollar bill could always act however he wanted & they could always clean up his messes / save him from himself / just flatout blame other people for what dollar bill did to them or someone else; success in being a mini axe in that way for sure. dollar bill going off the rails over his literal dollar bill & that's not a problem, he's validated b/c he's upset, & b/c rudy knew he'd be upset it's really all rudy's fault....who just so happens to be more of a loser, what with his glasses & possible masturbation ever and all. whilest even when dollar bill is like every season being shit at his job & life, well, just find a loser to trounce while everyone ignores this, cheers you on, takes on responsibility for fixing things for you, blames the person targeted probably. dollar bill couldn't even do in office transphobic hate crime physical attacks, or that but while yelling the r word at the autistic guy he's already harrassing & threatening, without it being really basically the target's fault, & hey, as long as no investors are watching. and we're still dragging dollar bill back to the office b/c uhhh yeah!!
& then of course there's winston, who, like a loser, says things in real efforts for real communication with others, that they winningly can only bring themselves to respond to as "he's not allowed to talk, that's out of line, i have to punish/deny this to reassert our respective status" except for, sometimes, taylor actually communicating in turn, or even simply receiving the information. winston in a duo with the very winning & worthy rian, being something of a quasirival for 5 seconds but even during then, and since, trying to be amicable to establish an actually positive dynamic, trying for actual communication, engaging flexibly & actively based on her feedback & her terms & etc to try to find some more success; versus rian completely inflexible, unwilling to respond to efforts to communicate, unwilling to have an actual relationship with any flexibility & genuineness in turn, or see winston as a person of course, and engage with real emotions. which is hardly an exclusive response of hers, like, everyone else is just the same, she's just also the one interacting with him more often and personally bullying him & standing next to him & immediately responding with clear contempt when he tries things like earnest expressions of "hey rian could you not do what you just did b/c it makes me feel like shit, probably b/c that's what you're trying to do" and "hey that was cool what you just did b/c it makes me feel like—" b/c like, what a loser. real winners cannot handle engaging with another person as a person. when you can just make up & stick to a narrative about "oh but i don't hate winston, who i feel is inherently beneath me. i wouldn't wanna feel bad about killing him, not when i could feel fine about administering more of a death by a thousand cuts with some other people helping out & hey maybe it was their cut that did it after all....but also if you're like 'pwease' then eh sure" or that winston's got a lesser inner existence anyways, some classic dehumanization, no complexity there, & hurting him isn't real, & it'd never be you in his position anyways! especially the more you're buying into "yeah i'm more of a person / more deserving / more real & sympathetic & correct than him :)" & being cheered on as you act that out. pretty cringe of winston to be earnest, flexible, openly trying & wanting & needing things, sounds bad & silly. unlike the winners around him who really cannot handle him or any of these things about him. of course near equivalent in loserness, tuk, is the person with the realest most amicable relationship with him. both of them too incompetent to realize their mutual failings in this, ha ha, real winners are repulsed & fleeing & can't handle a basic exchange with either of them. and the imbalance re: how little others are willing to give them in interest, consideration, time, words, etc, while they're always trying Too Much re: the disinterested others, totally proves their unworthiness
winston and tuk always having to stay at the bottom of the hierarchy, winston only able to be shitted on even as he extricates himself, ending up surrounded by people who will only act "correctly" according to their superior roles & this mf wags only processing anything as "did that reinforce my being a correct/winning person???" & only responding by trying to reassert to others how much of a winner they are, which requires establishing a loser, and crushing them. winston having recognized / gotten fed up with a bullshit scenario & had realistic expectations of those around them & spent those years being treated like shit yet never crushing an enemy to restore his ego & also spent those years trying to communicate and work with others and share actual info and make actual connections & now independently choosing to make a big shift in his life so that things can be different? is definitely the contemptible loser here while everyone else looks very good faffing around for an episode getting some temporary ego boosts & being very "correct" in every response to winston, even pointing out that rian even noticing something genuine & positive from winston in the absence of it anywhere is first & foremost incorrect, which rian will Also immediately drop in the face of that "well yeah it's more correct to prioritize Anything else. like that he's pathetic & mpc 5ever" like wuh oh rian being doomed from 5x08 "time to embrace acting more correct now" & being truly inflexible from that point on, never had a moment of conflict not resolved by [ignoring that] &/or again just getting someone more correct to declare how it'll be answered. taylor at their most flexible and Taylorest and most juxtaposed with central men & static ossified "winners" when they are also at their best in engaging with winston. taylor Like winston & vice versa in so many substantial & interesting ways, despite their relating to / sympathizing with / devoting much more effort & interest to people more like the central men. that here we are, when taylor might have to give up on Being A Winner, someone who'll walk away with status & resources & a seamless transition into some established business foundation, to really get the wins that matter, against pince, &/or to clock out of a sunk cost factory, &/or to not have strangled every part of themself that can be in conflict with this general situation into eternal dormancy. don't You dare blame latency lol, the taylor who gets to exist outside the conditional "well i guess you're a winner who's very useful to me, like dumping work on you & blaming you if it goes awry. and you can act like a Real winner in the ways that really matter (crushing people)"....is also a taylor who can be rejected & shut down & shut out & have their value denied & be treated shittily despite even knowing they'd be / are good at this shit, superlatively even, & could never feel okay just being regarded as a tool stashed away at someone's disposal. & Has been treated shittly & is liable to accept blame, unilateral responsibility for other's selves & feelings & actions & lives, & marinate in self-loathing. while people who refuse any introspection, questioning, responsibility, awareness, etc, & refuse to handle the least of genuine interactions/relationships with others as real people, are glad to scoff at them & dismiss them & imply or assert their superiority, like, wow have You got a lot to learn, or maybe you can't b/c you're inherently inferior. all just like re: winston!
tl;dr shoutout to the flexible characters who like can & do reflect & change things up actually, just so happening to always be Losing for this in the [only way to win is not to play] arena of fake winners seeing if they can consider themselves superior to everyone else & only even possibly correct always & forever, in the pyramid scheme of social hierarchy & also capitalism
#real winners quit! it's winston#society if rian Wasn't quickly boxed in & given the ''prominence'' of being Used for other characters#and where we could more truly have this like triumvirate of seeing yourself in both the other two parties in tmc lol#almost a similar fate re: lauren showing up Worthily Yet Zanily! then Most offbeatness falls away / dating is in the bg#& she's mostly Around & doing general [just competent things] But she was also flexible enough to do things Wrong actually / be doomed lol#which we Knew b/c of the relationship that billions would only eventually crush as the Cost of xyz....#rian's offbeatness mostly gone too; ''what am i gonna do next!'' Conveniently/contradictorily; going Bazinga; snark instead of aggression#general [just competent things] that'll last until ppl quit last minute; if they do. she started out secretly pretty inflexible already#& is really locked in by now; very similar to wendy who also never really considered ditching her life of ''i love to feel like i'm toying#w/ppl's lives & enabling some mf with more power'' & really isn't that different from prince; who tf else isn't also totally inflexible#team ben's endurance come from what insulation / teamwork they can find w/each other & just staying out of the way really#& also just the writing like ''of course they can & will stick around for years despite how they're treated. bit of Loser Feelings as#Lesser Feelings after all b/c haha i mean come on they may be nice but do they seem Epic to you?''#which is just as true / even more so re: winston. until he; in another [the Actual winner's move]; finally leaves#and gets like the most bass boosted [WHAT A FUCKING LOSER] treatment on his way out b/c what else could or would anyone do#winston billions#anyways he & the Loser Nerds like him have so much more maturity & flexibility & allowed capacity for actual growth lol. cringe comp!!#and this may be at all on purpose Of Course. show's aware central ppl are peak shit & intractible. show also does think winston's a loser#&/or is certainly trying to have their cake and eat it too with him and like tuk as well & even to a degree w/e goes on w/spyros etc etc#and Illustrating a lot of the ''deserved'' aspect through static inflexible Assumed Universal Facts abt what seems wrong & unworthy#like fucking yourself literally! objectively Bad. having glasses. knowing the diff b/w a vagina & vulva. not being ''''attractive''''#[jumpscare of Blaring Tangent dialogue abt that all overlaid on itself into 1 second of 9000 decibels]#taylor is also Flexible re: philip who is Flexible re: them in turn. definitely Something and Promising as has been established lol#visit taylip hq nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com for so much more. and this blog for [thinking abt winston] hq in turn. covering ground
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You know how there are a bunch of people who are like “Well, I’m miserable so I think everyone else should be miserable too.” Sometimes it feels there are people who are like that but with characters and media from their childhood.
That or just they’re somehow convinced “dark” means “deep”.
Yep. Jaded adults will look at idealistic children's media and go "that's bad, needs more cynicism and darkness" and I just ??? Dude. Sometimes escapist media is just that, especially in the fantasy genre! People need to stop and think that sometimes media isn't personally for them and instead look for things that ARE aimed at their personal taste rather than trying to change or "fix" something that doesn't need fixing.
#ask#like i don't consume a lot of kids media because it isn't personally for me#so when I see ppl my age go ''this was boring. needs more grit and realism''#I'm like duuuuude??? maybe consume something aimed at your age group instead???#like i see this ALL the time with live action tv shows where ppl go ''this is wholesome and boring i want real people in my shows''#and when you check it out it's a fucking high school show and the people complaining about it are my age#it's not even about ''mature'' media being solely for adults and children's media needing to be watered down shallow fluff#because dark and gritty isn't necessarily mature in fact in a lot of cases it's quite the opposite#it's about cynical adults wanting to inject their cynicism in places where it doesn't belong
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Me, as I binge all of Clone Wars and get swept up in a fever dream about writing a goodbye scene between Ahsoka and Padme, since we were denied a 'mother-daughter' goodbye on the show! I don't tend to write fanfic, so I must have the bug bad (Clone Wars is that good of a show tbh) - I keep turning the story idea over and over in the metaphysical rotisserie in my head.
Do I actually want to write this fanfic or do I just want to wallow in the delicious daydream like a pig in the mud?
#ooc#Clone Wars#Ahsoka#Ahsoka Tano#padme amidala#I went from being 'meh' about SW to being obsessed bc of this show and I'm just now on season 6#this show was a CHILDREN'S SHOW?#now and then there's a plot hole but otherwise this is EXCELLENT...and has some pretty mature themes about war#and now they're pulling half the B tier characters from Clone Wars to be in the live action shows and I am SO excited#fuck Disney but so long as Dave Filoni keeps writing Star Wars stuff there is hope ( - and fanfics in my head)
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ OH! SO YOU'RE INTO OLDER MEN?
˚₊·➳❥ JJK MEN SHOWING YOU HOW A REAL MEN FUCKS! satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, toji fushiguro ✧˚ · .
tags: afab!reader, reader is mentioned as a female, use of nicknames (baby, princess, doll, slut, whore), cheating, degradation, caught cheating, getting caught, unprotected sex, blowjob, pussy slapping, mating press, breeding, age-gaps, virginity loss [...] rbs are appreciated!
satoru gojo (Daddy’s girl)
well, that’s the word he used for the little girl you're babysitting right now. he’s a great dad and husband. there’s just this tiny whiny little thing he couldn’t do right– and that’s loving his wife as he should.
like– it’s not that he doesn’t feel guilty, it’s just… well, you looked really cute in that mini dress, he and his wife have been fighting lately anddd– he could tell his daughter liked you more than her fatality of mother she has these days. she even called you mommy by accident once! and that was the last water drop gojo needed for the glass to break.
“Oh- I bet you’d love to be full of me right now.” His thrusts became messier each time he pounded on you, “Mhh, fill you up ‘n make me a daddy again– you’d like that princess?” you couldn’t even talk anymore with how good he’s making you feel– he had your legs pressed on the bed thanks to his arms, almost bending you in half, he was making sure that mating press works.
“Ffffuckk- You feel s’good baby” He felt your walls clenching again, no matter how many times he made you come, he’s making sure you’re coming again after he does. A not ending cycle for him. “Such a slut for me hm? Coming all nice and pretty to this house just to be ruined at night–” his words made you feel dirty, but the euphoria of it was stronger, “such” slap, “a nasty” slap, “slut” slap– “and all f’me” with those last thrusts your body couldn’t take it anymore, spasming and trembling while your poor hole was filled up again. gojo’s wife didn’t even bothered to break your little encounter, she suspected it long time ago.
all that was left was a wide grinning gojo satoru and some divorce papers.
suguru geto (Daddy’s best-friend)
you didn’t intend this to happen… you always knew your dad’s best-friend was hot. he’s geto, ‘cmon. he brings a new girl every weekend whispering in your dad’s ear swearing she’s the one this time.
he saw you grow up, turn into this beautiful and strong woman. so how he couldn’t love you? you were like a doll for him, so beautiful and radiant in every way. a porcelain doll he needed to protect, he couldn’t lose you to any dangerous or stupid man, he swears he would beat the shit out of the guy who breaks your heart first.
“Shhiiiitt– Heh– I can tell how tight your pussy is princess–” His cock was stretching the living shit out of you, touching places never in a thousand years you could imagine you would feel. “what d’ya think daddy would say if he saw his little girl being fucked by his best-friend huh?” your brain was a fuzzy mess, you couldn’t make coherent words to say, and just feel how good geto is making you feel. you couldn’t remember how many times he had made you cum with his toungue and he’s just starting to fuck your pussy.
“ ‘m such a lucky guy if i'm the first you’re giving this pussy to, don’t ya think so doll? marking it as mine, baby I swear you’ll need no man to ever fuck this pussy of yours again– shit I won’t need another woman for myself, you’re the one baby” those words filled your heart of a tingly feeling, making more butterflies roam around your tummy, touching yourself you could sense geto’s cock coming and leaving with every thrust, your brain full of air and in need of more of his cock.
he couldn’t resist himself anymore when he was next to you, his cock would get hard the minute he enters your house, and thankfully he has a pretty doll to release himself with.
kento nanami (Big Boss)
Nanami thinks he’s a good and mature guy– At least for his wife and kids… He has this aura of a serious and mature guy but inside every time he’s just this close to breaking it, just to say what he really thinks or feels.
the first time he saw you at work with your tiny skirts and tight blouses he didn’t mind any type of attention to it, you were another cute worker, that’s all. One of another– he can think other women are pretty too right? maybe even prettier than his wife… and nicer, and cuter, and more homely feeling to be a mom. but he wouldn't do anything he would later regret right?...
“You’re s’pretty baby, such a dirty whore for my cock mhm?” he had you pounding from behind, his desk becoming even messier than it was before, one of his hands keeping you laid down on the desk arching your back like if he’s trying to break it– a sudden ringing brought you back from your unconsciousness of nanami’s cock– he answered the call, not a single sing of him trying to stop thrusting into you.
“Yeah?” his voice was out of breath, almost sounding like a sigh when he answered the call, “Where am I? Huh– I’m at the office r-right now…?” he wasn’t even sure if he could keep this act, losing himself more in the feeling of your pussy clenching on his cock– “Oh yeah- I’m okay, uhh- the kids? yyeah, yeah, they’re with my mom right now–” the feeling of keeping up a call with his wife while fucking you made his cock twitch inside of you, feeling like a teenager kissing their crush for the first time. it was no surprise for him that his wife was cheating, but he wanted to keep it like that for the sanity of his kids.
“Quit the act Kento– I know you’re fucking somebody else right now. See ya at home.”
toji fushiguro (Step-Daddy)
you hated when your mother started dating new guys. they just kept breaking her heart– but you just stopped telling her that it's okay to live without a partner, that she had you by her side, but well… this new man was something else i guess and you didn’t say anything for the sake of your own good mother.
you didn’t like him, but for the sake of your mother you pretended like you do– and let’s be honest, toji doesn’t like children, so when he first met you he wasn’t as social as others… your mom was just too good to simply let go– but the way you moved, talked, dressed caught his attention, and as time passes and he spends more time with your mom– he's no longer drawn to your house just to see your mother, but to see you.
“Sshhiit- You’re making me feel s’good baby” the lack of air was making you feel giddy, but the way his cock twitched inside your mouth made your core get even wetter. “C’mon baby, ride my shoe,” you wasted no time before your hips started moving, trying to gain some friction and release that tingly feeling coming from your core.
“D’ya think your mother would like to see her daughter being full of his step-daddy’s cum?” he gets one of his arms behind himself trying to gain some support while his other free hand caresses your cheeks while you continue sucking– this same hand moves out your head and frees his cock out of your mouth, a small strand of saliva connecting your mouth with it–
“Fuck– guess i choose the wrong out of you two”
#gojo satoru smut#geto suguru smut#nanami kento smut#toji fushiguro smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#geto smut#nanami smut#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento#toji fushiguro#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#nanami kento x reader#fushiguro smut
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#booooo i have an early morning orthodontist appt and i h8 everything#its 2 cities over#Ugh#and ofc its in an area w atrociously bad public transit#the joys#i've already moved money in my bank acct for an emergency uber / taxi if it takes too long#h8 everything#h8 that i even have to go bc#a) this orthodontist is a POS and treats me (and most ppl) terribly#b) i shouldnt even have to go bc its HIS fault my teeth moved#(took off my permanent retainer when it broke and wouldnt replace it. told me the teeth wouldnt move. they did. when i called to say so#he told me i was imagining it and making things up out of anxiety. told him no but he wouldnt listen. cut to 3 months later#and i have gaps where i shouldnt and my dentist did xrays and was like Damn Dude. they've moved a lot. go back and demand he fix it.#so now i have to do fuckin invisalign to fix the gaps before getring another wire on & its gonna cost a LOT of money that i dont have. cool#and also c) they want me to make a decision Today but i told them i need a quote to then ask insurance / disability. they threw a fit#and r def gonna do so again when i show up#ughhsgshshhs#they're also gonna blame it on my vitamin deficiencies. which ya can contribute but does Not exolain the rapid shifting my guy#that was u screwing up and now u dont wanna own up to it#he legit refused an appt w me so im seeing his colleague. real mature bro. real fuckin mature#but there's no other ortho for me to go to around where i live plus there's the whole legal thing of like.#he screwed it up so i can fight for it to be his responsibility to fix if necessary#anyway#i am anxious rambling bc i DONT WANNA GO DO THIS#i h8 dentist shit enough as it is bc of autism / anxiety / ptsd#and this office is the same one that verbally abused me as a teenager for having anxiety and as an adult for being disabled#fml#wish me fuckin luck im gonna gd need it#into the trenches we go
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I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.
I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.
This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.
Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.
But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.
Here’s who was on the dating roster:
• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.
• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.
• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.
And finally,
• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.
So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.
Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.
She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.
“Do you want it?”
“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”
But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.
So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.
I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.
I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!
What about the table?!
“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”
Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.
There on my doorstep. The table.
It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.
“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.
“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”
“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”
“Make me an offer.”
I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.
This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.
“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.
I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”
They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.
But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.
“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.
With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.
It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.
So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.
I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!
Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”
I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.
For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.
Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.
It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”
“Did you like it?”
“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”
My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.
Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.
“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”
“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.
So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.
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